Remember when...

     So last post I mentioned my platelets were low.  My nurse asked that I do labs again today to see that they are on the rise and I don't need additional platelets before my trip.  Turns out my platelets are good but my neutrophils dipped...low.  I'm at 440, they would like me to be at 1000.  I can feel the thing that I usually feel right before I end up in the hospital with a fever and there is no stopping it.  My hope is that I do not get a fever but if I do that I at least get to MI first and can then spend a few days in the hospital there.  Of course, I'd rather not waste any of my time in a hospital in MI but I would prefer more not to waste the money spent on the ticket and I just want to go home and see my family. GRRR!  I can't believe I let this happen.  I feel like a jerk. 

     On a lighter note, I spoke with a lady from Arts in Medicine about classes and I will more than likely take a few of hers to see if there is some other creative medium I would like, like sculpting or something.  I also found out coursera offers free courses on a butt load of stuff so I signed up for some animal behavior and disease prevention through nutrition.  Wish I would have known about this a year ago.  Not that I would have done anything about it.  I really didn't do a whole lot of productive activities this past year, whether or not they were at my disposal.  Usually I would feel really bad about myself for something like that...wasted time and all but I honestly don't care that I was lazy and unambitious.  I'm just glad that year is behind me.

     So I started the live strong program at the YMCA yesterday.  They just did an assessment, which she was "impressed" with my results.  It actually starts next week, which I will miss because I will be in MI.  It's ok though because my body will be working overtime to keep itself warm while in MI.  That's how that works right :-p?  Anyways, basically it's like having a personal trainer for 12 weeks for free.  We meet twice a week but I have full access to the Y on days we don't meet.  So that's another perk to cancer. 

     I had a bit of a scare earlier this week, well yesterday I guess.  I will spare you the gross details.  The thing that had happened in the past that caused me to go to the hospital between treatments, happened yesterday.  I called the nurse to see if there was anyway I could avoid going to the hospital should I spike a fever and she said no.  If you get an infection you need IV antibiotics...pills aren't enough.  So I went in to get blood work done to see where my counts were at.  Grant was there getting his outpatient treatment so I stayed and chit chatted with him and his dad for 4 hours.  I got my results back today and everything is good, except my platelets (which doesn't bother me at all so won't keep me from flying).  I'm going in tomorrow to see where my platelets are and if they are rising they won't make me get a transfusion.  I'm leaning towards not getting them regardless.  I'm not bruising or bleeding so I don't see the point in risking a reaction before my trip, should I get a transfusion.  They agreed but still want to see where I'm at.

     I also went for a massage today...an old groupon I had about to expire.  I really need to check into these places before I buy.  This guy was weird.  He has videos on youtube advertising his services and he totally creeps me out.  So I try to set up this appointment a few weeks ago and he says, "the next available appointment for groupon users is..." blah blah.  I'm thinking what makes a groupon user any different from a regular client.  I know the answer to that but if you want to keep me as a client, you better treat me with the same respect as a regular client.  Anyways, left a bad taste in my mouth.  So finally get it scheduled and go to the place...it is a tiny, tiny room that you can barely walk around the bed.  The sheet reminded me of one from the 80's that my brother had on his bed.  Just seemed like everything was just thrown together with whatever was lying around.  He pressed way too hard and so I asked him to go easier which he did for a little bit.  He was skimpy with the oil so that was uncomfortable and when he would finish with an arm he would kind of throw it down.  Oh, the worst part was he would use his full forearm at times and I could feel his arm hair and I'm just thinking this guys arm hair is falling out and sticking to the oil that is on my back.  I was totally grossed out and am finding myself re-grossed out.  EW!  Enough...it was just not a good experience.  I think I will stick to the ladies and the chain massage parlors and look at more than just the price and location of future groupons!

That is all.

    

It's official

     I gave myself my last shot over the weekend.  Now I'm done.  I don't have a problem with needles but those shots hurt.  Glad to be done with them.  So the focus of this blog will turn to getting healthy and I need your help.  If you have advice, I'd like to hear it.  It's time to change eating habits and start seriously exercising again.  The Y has a live strong program I'm going to check out.  I'm also leaning towards a paleo-like meal plan.  I don't like the idea of cutting out an entire food group, but I also recognize the benefits of eating fresh food.  So I've got the knowledge, just need to implement it.  It'd be great to form some good habits before I go back to work and get "too busy" to make healthy choices.  What is the healthiest thing you do for yourself, that you think everyone should do?

can't wait to get rid of this container!

Last day

     Jeremy brought yummy celebratory cupcakes last night.  It was a nice evening of squished in the hospital bed watching movies.  I'm gonna miss that part of it. 
     My first estimate for getting out of here is 3.  We shall see.  I was asked if I got a flu shot. I did not but it was recommended that I do since we are the peak of the season and I'm looking at traveling soon to a very cold area.  I'll have to talk to Dr Reed first.  I've never had one so I'm a little apprehensive.  Ive also never gotten the flu and have been against the shot but now not so sure.  I would hate for something to happen after all of this. 

Pretty good last meal from the hospital...chicken pot pie.

Last hospital bed snuggle picture.  I'll miss snuggling and watching tv like this.

     We got out at 3, as promised.  We went up to the 5th floor to ring the bell since that was where my best nurses were.  I only recognized 2 but had seen the other ones I like earlier in the week.  Grant and his mom had decorated the bell for me with balloons and she even bought me a present....a Vera Bradley lunch bag for when I go back to work.  Very sweet of her.  There were hugs and kisses (Jeremy only) and pictures and clapping.  It was a nice send off. I just wish Grant was done too.  It's kind of bittersweet to be happy for someone being done but also wishing you were the one who is done.  I hope we keep in touch.  He is a nice guy.  

   

Going good

     Two more treatments and I'm done.  Everything is going well.  I had to get some blood today and didn't do much.  I went down to the salon yesterday to check out their wigs.  I found 2 that I like.  I don't know if I'll wear them often since my hair is growing back but insurance would cover them.  I don't know...it was fun just to try them on too.  I also met up with Grant and his mom for painting.  Jeremy showed up a few minutes before it closed.  We watched tv till it was time for bed.  This morning I got a nice surprise from Grants mom...caramel frappe from Einstein's bagel.  It was a nice surprise.

    Now I'm waiting for Jeremy, watching pretty in pink.  He just called...gonna stop at Chipotle to pick up food.  Poor guy works too hard.  Then he didn't even get to relax before coming up to see me.  Almost done and things can go back to normal.  Well he will still work just as hard but at least no more hospitals.  

Beginning of the end

     Came in at 8:15 last night for my last treatment.  I'm on the 4th floor in the bone marrow transplant wing.  They saved the best for last.  This room is huge.  Nice walk in shower and big window.  No tripping over things or banging into doors to try and get around with this pole.  I feel like a princess, plus my tech makes slushies which I haven't had in forever.  I think she forgot about it though...haven't seen her in awhile.

     One downfall to this new area for me is I don't know the nurses so no Pam, Kory or Mary Catherine.  My RN last night was a gentleman who has been doing this for 17 years.  His hands were very shaky.  When accessing my first port, he stuck me 3 times before he got it in the right place.  He asked me if I wanted anything to help me sleep but then came into the room at least 9 times from 10:30pm-630am.  We talked about his wanting to leave due to higher ups being stingy with over time, how the head of the hospital makes 1+ million dollars and got a $700,000 bonus this year.  He told me he has talked numerous youngsters out of the nursing field.  I'm glad it was his last day before his 4 days off.  I shouldn't see him again.  I wish him the best in future endeavours but am happy not to have someone who hates their job working on me because I am their job.

     Grant is in the hospital for his inpatient treatment this week.  We are meeting in the art room at 2 to paint some stuff.  He is having a harder time with side effects.  I'm hoping I can provide some distraction or break up the routine.  He is 26, was about to finish college after being in the army a few years and then he got the same news Jeremy and I got.  It sucks.  He has plans...We had plans.  I was excited about getting into a new car.  Now I could care less, except that my car is in bad shape.  My doctor tells me people in my situation experience post partum depression which makes sense because I should be ecstatic to be at the end but I'm not.  There is uncertainty looming and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  And it's not anything I can put my finger on.  I am certain what will happen at work when I return.  I know, when I am feeling up to it, the things I will incorporate back into my life (exercise, bikes).  I see all kinds of possibilities but there is this feeling I can't make sense of or shake off.  Another doctor I talked to today, said some of her breast cancer patients don't feel right for years.  Cancer, this whole process, takes something from you and I have a hard time describing it.  I am told it will pass and I will feel like the person I was before, bubbly and happy.

     My slushy just arrived!  A little over an hour but I got hours to spare so no biggy.

look at all my hair!

Bird, bird, bird...gator

     On a walk today, I saw an osprey with a big ole fish and a squirrel with a mushroom.  I saw a Robin and a Blue Jay, 2 Sandhill Cranes, Great White Heron, Wood Stork, Cormorant, Anhinga, Blue Heron, Ibis and an alligator.  So my walk for exercise turned into watching the wildlife for an hour.

     Tomorrow is the moment of truth.  I'm going in early for blood work and will come back for my doctors appointment.  I really feel that I will have no hold ups on my end for this last treatment.  The hospital on the other hand...they had my treatment listed as outpatient this time when it is supposed to be inpatient.  I got a call today that they were waiting on approval from my case manager for treatment.  I got that all settled so shouldn't be a problem.  I'm sure I'll be waiting on a bed for a day or two...I really hope not though.  Or they won't call until really late and I'll be getting my treatments at 2am or something.  I think as a rule the last one can not go smoothly.  I am mentally prepared for whatever "oopsies" they make and look forward to the end.

Kitties don't want me to go to the hospital

more fun stuff from the holidays I just found on my camera

gift from my brother...I'm still a princess :)

Everyone's waiting for the fish at Star Fish Co

Kitty loves trivial pursuit

family time

hunting some dinosaurs with dad

best coffee and company ever :)

dad making friends...he also hit the car in the background.  It lit up and smoke came out.

couple of baldies

awesomeness

yumminess

3 cheers for after Christmas sales on animal hats :)

Things we've been up to

New years eve we actually stayed up for the ball drop.

New years day, got my shot and drove dad around in a golf cart for 18 holes.  It was supposed to be sunny and 70...it was rainy and 60!  We watched the Spartans win the Rose Bowl.

Today, is all about relaxing.  That shot worked faster than before on making my skin and bones hurt.  Mom made a roast, we re-decorated the tree and now cards!