Came in at 8:15 last night for my last treatment. I'm on the 4th floor in the bone marrow transplant wing. They saved the best for last. This room is huge. Nice walk in shower and big window. No tripping over things or banging into doors to try and get around with this pole. I feel like a princess, plus my tech makes slushies which I haven't had in forever. I think she forgot about it though...haven't seen her in awhile.
One downfall to this new area for me is I don't know the nurses so no Pam, Kory or Mary Catherine. My RN last night was a gentleman who has been doing this for 17 years. His hands were very shaky. When accessing my first port, he stuck me 3 times before he got it in the right place. He asked me if I wanted anything to help me sleep but then came into the room at least 9 times from 10:30pm-630am. We talked about his wanting to leave due to higher ups being stingy with over time, how the head of the hospital makes 1+ million dollars and got a $700,000 bonus this year. He told me he has talked numerous youngsters out of the nursing field. I'm glad it was his last day before his 4 days off. I shouldn't see him again. I wish him the best in future endeavours but am happy not to have someone who hates their job working on me because I am their job.
Grant is in the hospital for his inpatient treatment this week. We are meeting in the art room at 2 to paint some stuff. He is having a harder time with side effects. I'm hoping I can provide some distraction or break up the routine. He is 26, was about to finish college after being in the army a few years and then he got the same news Jeremy and I got. It sucks. He has plans...We had plans. I was excited about getting into a new car. Now I could care less, except that my car is in bad shape. My doctor tells me people in my situation experience post partum depression which makes sense because I should be ecstatic to be at the end but I'm not. There is uncertainty looming and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. And it's not anything I can put my finger on. I am certain what will happen at work when I return. I know, when I am feeling up to it, the things I will incorporate back into my life (exercise, bikes). I see all kinds of possibilities but there is this feeling I can't make sense of or shake off. Another doctor I talked to today, said some of her breast cancer patients don't feel right for years. Cancer, this whole process, takes something from you and I have a hard time describing it. I am told it will pass and I will feel like the person I was before, bubbly and happy.
My slushy just arrived! A little over an hour but I got hours to spare so no biggy.
One downfall to this new area for me is I don't know the nurses so no Pam, Kory or Mary Catherine. My RN last night was a gentleman who has been doing this for 17 years. His hands were very shaky. When accessing my first port, he stuck me 3 times before he got it in the right place. He asked me if I wanted anything to help me sleep but then came into the room at least 9 times from 10:30pm-630am. We talked about his wanting to leave due to higher ups being stingy with over time, how the head of the hospital makes 1+ million dollars and got a $700,000 bonus this year. He told me he has talked numerous youngsters out of the nursing field. I'm glad it was his last day before his 4 days off. I shouldn't see him again. I wish him the best in future endeavours but am happy not to have someone who hates their job working on me because I am their job.
Grant is in the hospital for his inpatient treatment this week. We are meeting in the art room at 2 to paint some stuff. He is having a harder time with side effects. I'm hoping I can provide some distraction or break up the routine. He is 26, was about to finish college after being in the army a few years and then he got the same news Jeremy and I got. It sucks. He has plans...We had plans. I was excited about getting into a new car. Now I could care less, except that my car is in bad shape. My doctor tells me people in my situation experience post partum depression which makes sense because I should be ecstatic to be at the end but I'm not. There is uncertainty looming and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. And it's not anything I can put my finger on. I am certain what will happen at work when I return. I know, when I am feeling up to it, the things I will incorporate back into my life (exercise, bikes). I see all kinds of possibilities but there is this feeling I can't make sense of or shake off. Another doctor I talked to today, said some of her breast cancer patients don't feel right for years. Cancer, this whole process, takes something from you and I have a hard time describing it. I am told it will pass and I will feel like the person I was before, bubbly and happy.
My slushy just arrived! A little over an hour but I got hours to spare so no biggy.
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| look at all my hair! |
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