So it would seem the day after I do something, I do nothing the next day. I guess I can handle that. It is almost unbelievable that I used to go everyday so strong and work so hard. Wake up at 6am 5 days a week, start morning husbandry at 7am...hosing, raking, shovelling at a pace that allowed me to do the job right (for over 100 different species) and be done in 2 hours. After that it would be crating animals and walking them across the park at a speed walkers pace. I never walked gingerly anywhere. There was always a task that needed to be done. The only time I slowed down was when I was actually training an animal. You plan out the session and allow the animal to learn at its own pace. It may take one long session or ten short sessions. You can't force learning, nor should you try.
Now, walking up stairs forces me to sit down and let my heart rate settle back down. Going to see a movie means a 3 hour nap. Eating food requires a series of deep breaths. Two hours of leisurely shopping wipes me out the next day. I would estimate I am 1/8 the person I was a month ago. I hope I never get used to this. I hope after all this is over I bounce back as fast as I did from surgery. I know I won't be stronger (or so I've been told) which is frustrating. I always want to be more than I am and I think that is a good thing. It's the right kind of attitude to have. And I have the right kind of partner to help me get there. I will accept whatever I come out of this as but I hope I will always try to improve myself in every way.
On a lighter note, Star Trek was awesome.
1/8th the person you were a month ago is more than most people are everyday. You are one of the strongest friends I have and people I know. No doubt you will bounce back to the energy level you had...you're amazing personality wouldn't allow for any other option :) Glad to hear the movie was good! Was debating on seeing it! Loved the first one though!!!
ReplyDeleteThere's a whole lot of love going on in this pic. It shows in your faces. Hold on my darling daughter in law, you two are going to kick this. No Doubt!
ReplyDeleteYou were strong....You will be strong....You are strong!!! You are awesome!!! Your weakness is temporary and would not dare be anything else with a kick butt attitude like yours. You Go Girl!
ReplyDeleteThe thing about all this is that it isnt you, your mind or heart, that has become sluggish. It is the drugs and the chemo that are tearing your body's energy levels down. Once the treatments are over, you will bounce back to your old ways. You may need to hit the gym and start rebuilding your muscle strength since you are not using them to the extent you would otherwise be able too. But in time, when this is all over, there is no doubt you will be the same MEgan you always have been. Hang in there friend, stay positive (as you always are), an know that this is just a short passage in your lengthy novel of life. Love you!
ReplyDeleteI might not say 1/8 the person. You are doing great. You are strong. Maybe it's only your activity level that is 1/8 of what it was. This will help strengthen you in ways we will not understand until faced with situations like this ourselves. Let your body and mind guide you as you are now and a little more rest is good for soul, body and mind!
ReplyDeleteAlthough I cannot speak from expirence, I have never had to endure anything close to what you are going thru I know that you are a strong and spirited lady!! You have always had this beautiful way about you. I rarely saw you with a frown.. What makes you so special is your attitude. That is what will get you thru this. You are always positive. Your strength will come back sweetie.. No worries about that. You have so many people that love you and will gladly carry you in your toughest days. I am sorry that we are so far away. Savannah and I would love to do some puzzles with you. Keep your head up babe..xoxo
ReplyDelete